What Do I Need to Bring?

A: At the first session, you are not required to bring any specific paperwork. However, many clients come prepared with key financial documents, which are usually helpful and move the case forward a little quicker. Once your first session is scheduled, you will receive an email from Graine Mediation with a suggested list of documents to gather. Those suggested documents are also set forth below in the question: "What documents will I need to gather and/or prepare for mediation?"

At your first session, the actual issues for settlement will be determined. The mediator will then be in a better position to craft "homework" assignments for your unique case, e.g., documents to be gathered, budgets to be prepared, refinance pre-approvals, rental real estate shopping, job searches, asset and liability distribution proposals, parenting arrangement suggestions, etc.

A: After our first session, I will have a much better understanding of which supporting financial documents we will need in order for both of you to be able to make informed settlement decisions. Many clients come to the first mediation session ready to participate; but,they do not actually begin gathering documents until after they see how things go at that first session. Others come prepared with documents that they think will be important for settlement. Both methods are fine. It is up to you.

Below is a list of information and documents that we often refer to when settling a divorce case:

  1. GROSS (PRE-DEDUCTIONS) MONTHLY INCOMES. This information can be found on your paystubs, LES (military), tax returns, W-2s.

    GROSS INCOME for BUSINESS OWNERS, Gross income usually requires a fair amount of discussion in mediation. In its simplest form, business owner’s gross income is determined by taking gross revenue less reasonable business expenses, with “reasonable” being an often-debated matter.

  2. NET MONTHLY INCOMES AND DEDUCTIONS. Your net monthly incomes (take home pay) is important to know. Please bring the deductions that are taken from your paycheck (amounts and what they are for).
  3. OTHER SOURCES OF INCOME. For all other sources of income, please be prepared to show average monthly amounts and the source of that income. We also need to know if it is taxable or nontaxable income. (e.g., rental income, side business income, gifts from family members, dividends).

  4. LIST OF ASSETS & DEBTS. For all of your assets and debts (aka property and liabilities), whether you think they are marital property or not, we need to know the following. For Real Estate, please also see Subparagraph (e) below. For Retirement Assets, see #5 below.

    1. What is it? Identification of the asset, such as a bank account, marital residence, investment/rental real estate, automobile, credit card debt, student loan, outstanding tax liability, etc.
    2. Who owns it? Whose name is on the title, deed, loan, etc.
    3. What is the value? If you do not know, or the value is not agreed, we can discuss this in mediation. Also, does that asset produce income? (such as with investment real estate)

    4. When was it acquired? Was it acquired before the marriage, during the marriage, after the date of separation, or is there overlap, e.g., such as with a retirement account with contributions having been made before the marriage and during the marriage, or a retirement account where contributions were made after the date of separation. If you don’t know what to do here, we will figure it out in mediation.

      If any portion of an asset was acquired prior to the marriage, and you would like to take the pre-marital portion of that asset off the table for division, please know the balance at that date. However, if that asset is real estate, see Subparagraph (e) (vi) below.

    5. For REAL ESTATE, we also need to know:
      1. Where did the money for the downpayment come from
      2. Whose name/s is on the mortgage loan and HELOC (as applicable)
      3. Balance of the mortgage loan and HELOC (as applicable)
      4. Value of the real estate (which may be one of the matters we will be working on in mediation)
      5. Assumption - whether the mortgage loan is assumable or eligible for a release of liability (you only need to know this if one you is considering staying in a home where the mortgage is currently joint)
      6. Pre-Marital - If you owned real estate prior to the marriage, and you want to take the pre-marital portion off the table for division, be prepared with the amount of pre-marital money you contributed to the principal (down payment and principal portion of the mortgage payments)
  5. RETIREMENT ASSETS.

    1. Pensions & Private Annuities. If you have a pension or private annuity, whether you are in retirement status or not, please be prepared with:

      1. Date you began contributing to your pension or private annuity (or, for a private annuity, when you made the lump sum contribution).
      2. Type of pension (military retired pay, FERS, VRS, Foreign Service Pension, corporate pension etc). If a private annuity, provide the name of the financial institution/insurance company that is managing that private annuity
      3. If not in retirement status, we will need the date of eligibility to begin receiving your pension. For a private annuity, you will need to be very clear about the rules related to that annuity in terms of payments, value determinations, penalties for early withdrawal, etc.
      4. If not in retirement status, for pensions, we will need to know your projected retirement date (which you might not know, and that is OK)
      5. Monthly payment amount on your projected date of retirement (which may or may not be important, depending on how your case is settled), or current monthly payment amount, if you are in retirement status.
      6. Who is currently named as the surviving beneficiary
    2. NON-PENSION RETIREMENT ASSETS. For all non-pension retirement assets, which includes 401(k)s, 457s, 403(b)s, Roth IRAs, traditional IRAs, and other non-pension retirement accounts, please be prepared with:

      1. Type of retirement asset? (e.g., 401(k), 457, 403(b), Roth IRA, traditional IRA)
      2. Who owns the retirement asset?
      3. Value/balance of the retirement asset?

      4. When acquired? Was it acquired before the marriage, during the marriage, after the date of separation, or is there overlap (known as a “hybrid asset”).

        If any of your retirement assets are hybrid, and you are interested in teasing out your non-marital portion of that asset (i.e., taking if off the table for division in your divorce settlement), be prepared with the date you began contributing, the balance on the date of marriage (as relevant), and/or the balance on the date of separation (as relevant).

  6. MONTHLY EXPENSES. It is helpful, but not always essential, if you have a good idea of what your household and monthly expenses are and projections for what these expenses will be when you are living in separate households (if not doing so already).
  7. HEALTH INSURANCE. Be prepared with the costs for health insurance for both of you and projected costs for health insurance when are on individual policies. However, this is not necessary in all cases.
  8. CHILDREN’S HEALTH INSURANCE. For the purpose of calculating child support, we will need to know the cost to insure your children. This is usually determined by taking the cost of the family plan (or sometimes employee plus one or two) minus the cost of an individual employee’s plan. Please be sure to know whether your numbers are per paycheck or per month.
  9. AUTOMOBILE INSURANCE. Be familiar with your policy. Is it individual? Joint? What are the premium/monthly costs?
  10. COLLEGE FOR CHILDREN. Are there college savings accounts? Who owns them? What is their value?
  11. NON-RETIREMENT (“UNQUALIFIED) DEFERRED COMPENSATION AND STOCK GRANT PLANS including, but not limited to, Restricted Stock Units (RSUs), Employee Stock Purchase Plans (ESPP), Employee Stock Ownership Plans (ESOPs), Employee Stock Options, Executive Deferred Compensation Plans (EDCPs), Supplemental Executive Retirement Plans (SERPs), and other deferred and tax deferred compensation plans. We will need:

    1. Type of Asset - information that clearly identifies the type of asset in question (e.g., RSU, ESPP, etc).
    2. Grant Date - the date the deferred compensation was granted to the employee spouse
    3. Vesting Schedule (as applicable)
    4. Tax treatment of that asset (e.g., is it taxed upon grant, is it taxed upon vesting, does the employee spouse have a choice as to when the asset is taxed)
    5. Financial institution that manages the non-retirement deferred compensation/stock grant plan (both vested portions, unvested portions, and cash from the sale of any portion of the asset/s, as applicable)
    6. Withdrawals/transfers – identification of money from the sale of stock grants and other deferred compensation plans – where it is, what it was spent on, etc.
    7. Value (current) of all non-retirement deferred compensation and stock grant plans and how that value was determined
  12. SMALL OR CLOSELY HELD BUSINESS INTERESTS. If there will be discussion about a spouse’s business as an asset (not just as a source of income, similar to a job), we might need the following for the past three years. If the business is to be valued, we will discuss hiring a business valuation expert:

    1. profit and loss statements (P&Ls)
    2. balance sheets
    3. K-1s, tax returns with all schedules
    4. all business loan and line of credit applications, with attachments which relate to the valuation of that business
    5. all existing buy-sell agreements and agreements with business brokers relating to the possible sale of that business
    6. if the business was owned prior to the marriage, how much has it increased in value since the date of marriage (i.e., was it substantial?) and, if so, was that increase due to significant personal efforts of either/both spouses?

A: Whether or not you hire experts and professionals will depend on the facts and issues in your case. As a general rule, it is always best to have as much clear advice and information as possible upon which to base your settlement decisions. Speculation, when it comes to financial decision-making, should be kept to a minimum. Your decision to hire experts will depend on factors such as:

  • your level of expertise and understanding with regard to the financial matters in your case;
  • the complexity of the information that you need to understand;
  • whether a family business is involved;
  • whether there are unique assets in your case that need to be professionally valued/appraised;
  • whether separate (non marital) assets have been commingled with marital assets; and
  • the cost of the expert advice and information.